Get ready for some brutal honesty about why your dating profile sucks. We’re diving deep into the world of online dating and dissecting all the cringe-worthy elements that make us roll our eyes and swipe left faster than you can say “Heyyy” with three Y’s.
Let’s start with the pictures, shall we? Unless you’re packing a twelve-inch pocket hog to match that bass you’re holding up, maybe it’s time to leave the dead animals out of your dating scene. Sure, you might think it’s impressive, but keep that on Facebook and hanging on your wall in a nice mount if you're that proud of it.
Now, onto the bio. We’ve all moved past the peak boom of dating apps and realized that they’re nothing more than purgatory, a never-ending line of left swipes and right swipes that occupy our free time with endless “add my snaps” requests and shitty recycled icebreakers . It’s a vicious cycle, my friends.
Fear not, there’s a way to stand out from the crowd. Instead of asking for a Snapchat, why not come out of left field and request an email? That’s right, bring back the lost art of letter writing. Who needs instant messaging when I forget to text you back for 1-2 business days and it's cute and quirky because we're using email? It’s like the slow-burning romance of the 18th century.
We’ve all been there, my fellow horndogs. We’ve done the dating app detox, giving our forearms a well need break for a couple of months, only to convince ourselves that it’s a good way to “get back out there.” But deep down, we know the harsh reality: 99.9% of conversations are doomed to end within five minutes, leaving us questioning our life choices on the 6th browser page of videos on the hub.
Thank you for reading and drop your worst dating app stories below in the comments 🙏🏼
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