We've all encountered that one friend who takes the concept of "liquid courage" to a whole new level. Picture this: she shows up uninvited, already halfway to the point of no return, and introduces herself as someone entirely different. It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion, except this train is fueled by tequila shots and bad decisions.
Let's call her Alyssa, but much like Superman she has a secret identity that comes out, but instead of saving civilians, "Kasey Kuntface," her self-proclaimed alter ego of choice for the night comes to piss off her friends. Once she's embraced her new identity, all hell breaks loose. She wreaks havoc on any living creature within a 25-foot radius, causing chaos and mayhem that would give Putin a slight chub. These girls have mastered the art of separating their drunk alter ego from their true selves, giving them a free pass to break things, steal things, relieve themselves in bar alleyways or sinks, and rack up a hefty cleaning fee and a plummeting Uber rating.
It's time to call a halt to this batshit crazy behavior ladies. Sure, it may be funny as a one-off bit, but all too often, it becomes their go-to social alter ego. They start screaming their second names whenever a drop of booze touches their lips and narrating their own stories in the third person, as if they're in some shitty indie film. It's time to break the cycle, and do better.
Sincerely, everyone.
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