It's a universal truth that drunk girls love elevated surfaces. Whether it's a table, a stage, a bar, or even a poorly built structure at a house party, if there's something to climb up on, you can bet that a drunk girl will be on it faster than any bouncer, sober monitor, or mom of the friend group will be able to react.
But why is this the case? What is it about elevated surfaces that seems to draw drunk girls like moths to a flame? I've done some thinking and here's what I could come up with a few theories.
No matter the club, local frat basement, or concert, there's nothing better than that first breath of air that hits your lungs when you break away from the crowd. Finally being able to breathe air that doesn't have a hint of stale beer, cigarettes, and possibly a touch of chlamydia is truly one of the best feelings a person can experience. For some reason, drunk girls seem to have fixation for elevated surfaces when seeking this sweet release of fresh air. Perhaps it's more of a survival instinct kicking in to escape the sweaty bodies and endless loops of EDM mixes that surround them. Whatever the reason, you can always find drunk girls perched on the most random elevated surfaces, whether it's a roof, a bar booth, or even a stranger's shoulders.
Elevated surfaces aren't just for taking a break or catching some fresh air. They also serve as a prime vantage point for drunk girls to scope out the crowd. Much like Batman watching over Gotham City, they can get a deep grasp of their surroundings, scouring everything from the bathrooms to their friends talking to that situationship they promised was over. They can even use their elevated position to scout out the next lucky guy to buy her an order of mozzarella sticks at the bar.
It's not just about the physical elevated surfaces, it's more what they represent. After a few drinks, girls are hardwired to relive their childhood dreams of being in Coyote Ugly. They take to the bar like it's their own personal stage, channeling their inner Piper Perabo as they dance, shout at the top of their lungs, and try their best not to get thrown out.
While we may never fully understand why they love elevated surfaces so much, one thing is for sure, it's always entertaining to watch. So the next time you're out at a bar or club, or house party keep an eye out for those brave girls climbing onto tables, kitchen counters, stages, booths, and more because you never know just when a girls going to come crashing into your life.
Comments