College towns are a unique breed of their own. They are filled with students who are trying to make the most of their college years, more than likely in some unique and interesting ways, while constantly being watched by the local townsfolk who think they own the place. These college town natives believe that the small amount of taxes they pay gives them the right to dictate every move and breath that college students take, makes sense right?
Now, let's take a closer look at the anatomy of these college town folks. You've got your middle-aged couple who moved into the corner house on frat row and tries to act like they're still in college. They play a drinking game every time their toddler waves at the frat boys, and you can often see them stumbling back to their house at 8:30 pm, sharp with a stroller in tote pretending they're still in their prime.
But those are not the folks we're talking about today. No, we're talking about the ones who call the police on you for no reason. You know the ones. They're the people who decided to sign a rent-to-buy contract dead in the middle of student housing, and then complain about the noise every night. They're the ones who will lecture you on how they can't stand all these "kids" acting like idiots, and then get dragged out of the college bars downtown weekly for harassing and borderline assaulting the same "kids" they had previously mentioned.
These town folk are the ones who cut open your trash bags looking for cans to toss in the back of their bicycle cart, leaving your yard looking like that junkyard from the sandlot, and then you see them later that night buying a carton of menthols down at the corner store. All while you have to deal with cleaning your thrown trash up again or else you'll have the towns code enforcement ready to go with a raging boner by 9:00am ready to write you a citation. They're the ones who would rather see college students getting carted away in police vehicles for disturbing their 7:00 pm nap with a mix of EDM and trap music. Because, let's be honest, you may as well have committed war crimes with how fast these people are ready to dial 911.
But here's the thing: without the college and influx of 30,000+ people a year into their town, it simply would not exist. Yet, these town folk seem to forget that fact. Most of these colleges have been around for well over a century at this point, townspeople really need to come to the realization that these institutions don't just pop-up over night. Due to years of an extreme bias as well in local voting laws a lot of these "seemingly harmless" things such as calling the police to break up a party is not longer the fact. Just for an example in my college town there was local ordinances in place that absolutely baffled me with just how predatory they were for college students; 1. If cops are called to a house party a misdemeanor must be issued to every member of the house present as well as reported to the college for additional actions/ fines , this turned what would have 15 years ago been a simple, knock on the door and everybody leave, to now possible 6 months jails, +$800 in tickets & fines per person, and additional hearings & courses through the university. 2. Minor in Posesion of Alcohol in Michigan , following this being moved from a misdemeanor to a civil infraction in the state of Michigan (same level as a parking ticket basically), my college town took it upon themselve that this was too light of a punishment and decided to add on a near $300 in addition county processing fees and fines, the ticket itself was only $100.
So, to all the college town natives out there, I'll say this loosen up and live a little. We understand that you don't want to be disturbed by our fun, but without these students you wouldn't have any town left to call your own. So, take a chill pill, crack open a beer, and maybe Stop calling adults "kids" because I think you may realize a lot of the problems caused in college towns seem to be from a severe misunderstanding that college students are in fact autonomous adults and not your 13 year old nieces and nephew.
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