Fraternity formals - the pinnacle of the college social scene, and as of lately it appears something that has taken social media by storm. It's a day of debauchery, questionable decisions, and lifelong memories. So, let's break it down, play by play.
It all starts with the morning of the formal. You wake up around 10:00 am to 12:00 pm feeling and looking like trash. Your fraternity house is a disaster, and you're the only one responsible enough to clean up the mess. With no pledges on site, you grab the trusty indoor snow shovel and scoop up a few bags of trash. You pat yourself on the back for a job well done, even though the place is still a dump.
Next up, the most important decision of the day: what to eat. You need a strategic meal that will soak up enough alcohol to ensure your liver doesn't self-destruct. After much deliberation, you settle on leftover pizza. It's the perfect consistency for when you inevitably hurl later and why not go with a texture that's known.
Now that you've cleaned up and fueled up, it's time to get ready. Fraternity men's suits come in two styles: the sport coat you've had since your great aunt's funeral in 9th grade, or the full 3-piece suit your parents made you buy because "business majors need to look smart." Neither will match your date's dress anyway, so who cares?
Time for the pregame. This magical time of the day is when everyone agrees to stop being productive members of society and raise a glass to a good time. But beware: the pregame can easily end everything before it even starts. You've got to be careful and ride the wave to endure the marathon of a day ahead. I've seen plenty of brothers and dates fall victim to the pre-game throwing up on busses, not making it to the venue all together, having to babysit their date because they "promised they could handle their alcohol".
The formal itself is pretty standard. Whether it's in a banquet hall, river cruise, major city, or even in another country depending on the college / budgets, it typically consists of a dinner, speech, drinks, and some kind of awards or something. Nothing too crazy.
But the real fun starts after the formal. This is when the chaos begins. It's six or more hours of drinking, dancing, and who knows what else. And if you're not going with a girlfriend, there's a good chance you've only met your date less than a month before.
The post-formal party is when the tears, yelling, screaming, jumping into pools, date swapping, and more starts. It's the time when the alcohol hits you back twice as hard. It seems like a slow march forward either if you're making it back to a hotel which your fraternity registered themselves as their colleges "marketing association" in order to book a block of hotel rooms or have a long bus-ride back home with people passed out, throwing-up, still trying to keep the party going, or whatever else it may be. But, hey, that's what makes it memorable if you're lucky enough to remember anything.
In conclusion, fraternity formals are a day full of excitement and craziness. Cheers to a great time!
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